How to disguise a new bike?

I think this counts as a "Modification"...

Any suggestions on how to disguise a new bike (actually, a scooter) so it doesn't get stolen?

I figured one solution was just to cover it in mud or drive it through some, and that would beat it up pretty bad.

I also saw one bike that looked like the owner wrapped old used towels around it to protect it and make it look like crap.

Any other ideas?

Crash it!

You don't say where you are which would make a difference as the reasons and methods for stealing vary. From joyriders who want it easy, to gangs who will lift it into a van. If you are serious, then buy (or steal) an old or scrapped version of the same or compatible model for yourself and swap panels. That keeps the resale value high too as you will put them back on, almost brand new, when you sell. You also get lots of spares very cheap this way. I did it for years in UK, I never lost a bike and had a very heavy chain and padlock that would defeat most cutters. A cover helps a lot as many cruising thieves won't take the time and trouble to check under it. Someone else may steal the cover though ...

Mix a touch of extra oil with the fuel to get smoke out the back in case they are locals and watch the machine. Shouldn't harm it, will just oil up the plugs a bit! Also get insured, locked up under cover if possible and consider a GPS tracker. The scrapped bike method is an old one, also used by the thieves to get log-books and parts for stolen bikes ... you could also ask Euphonius where he got the slick 'POLICE' dayglo waistcoat, that might be a deterrent or a come-on depending on the tea-leaves.