No fool like an old fool

[jape]

I need sympathy, not laughter (except a long way behind my back).

My throttle assembly came loose a few weeks back and this is dangerous in most circumstances as it turns on the bar when you twist the grip - so I haven't ridden much, just to the shops a couple of times. Naturally I tried tightening the securing bolts as far as possible without breaking the plastic housing. Still loose so I looked carefully at the housing and found a bolt hole with no bolt in it. China bikes! What can you do but get another bolt and fix it? Naturally this would be the same size bolt as the other side of the assembly, m5x30 and I already know that my local shops have no decent metric bolt selection from trying to find a m6x40 that fell off another bit of Kinlon. Thus I wedged and taped the assembly for temporary use and waited until I had to go to the nearest big town a week ago. Did that, got the bolt and brought it home. Turned out they gave me a m6x30 not m5. Oh well. Life is like that, next trip was today when I managed to find only an m5x45 and accepted I had to carefully cut it down watching the threads. Bugger, it still just turns and turns in the hole it goes in. The inner thread must be stuffed or maybe, just maybe it needs a longer bolt in that position. Luckily I got two and only cut one down. No, the 5x45 still turns. Surely it couldn't need a bigger one like the m6 I got in error? No. That doesn't work either.

Gonna have to bite the bullet, disassemble the assembly. I hate jobs like that with cheap plastic, wires hanging out. Oh well. Undid the cable lock nut, undid the other through bolts, eased it all apart. Took a bit of prising and worrying and twisting and turning but yes! All apart and nothing snapped. At this point I found that the hole I had twice travelled a hundred km to get a a bolt for was just - a hole. No wonder the bloody bolt just turned and turned ...

Turned out a bit of grit and mud from my bush rides had got inside the assembly where the halves joined up and stopped the securing bolts from tightening enough. All that bloody effort and stress because I was too lazy/dumb/scared to take it apart three weeks ago.

Don't get old folks, unless you can afford servants and workers/have raised sons that enjoy mechanical stuff/live next to an efficient, reliable bike shop. Feeling stupid is not balanced by the ability to finally ride up the road and try it out again. Especially when you forget you had decided to tighten the chain while the machine wasn't working and hadn't finished that job. You feel really, really stupid when the chain jumps off, the wheel twists and you fall into yet another puddle of mud, with no safety or wet gear on. Oh yeah and the despised flash bastard rich neighbours are collecting their mail a few feet away. Only a kilometer to push the bike home. Sigh. Mainly flat thank goodness.

I should have sold the kids and got a merc. and lived near the beach.

[euphonius]

Jape, with a little work you could turn this into a first-rate screenplay. Is Mr Bean still in production?

OK, OK, I'm not laughing. Really. Not even about the mudbath.

Truth be told, when Motokai and I picked up my JH600 from the freight forwarder after its truck journey back from Kunming, I found that MY throttle was loose in the exactly the same way you've described. Mindful of your experience, I'll be proceeding with utmost caution when I tackle this repair!

Just be glad you're riding again!

cheers

[jape]

You have to laugh at yourself! And share it too I find. Nothing else fixes it, even booze and cigars. I didn't tell the half of it, like spending ten minutes looking for the phillips-head screw driver which was sitting on the saddle all the time, like dropping my new (chinese) fifty (small) piece socket and driver-tip set into the gravel, like leaving the bungee cord attached to the tarp and back wheel as I rode off. And the bastard who told me the halogen bulb I had ordered was arrived in stock before I set off on the 15 km drive/85 km train journey - and it wasn't. Oh well, riding again, until the next joke.

Take care with your throttle-fixing mate, my problems were at my own expense, having problems in China sounds a lot more serious!