(No-)Bike Night in Shanghai

[andre555]

Hi Euph, will see you there then.

[euphonius]

Hi Euph, will see you there then.

OK, for an endless city of 23 million and the largest contingent of MCM members in a single place, we are not too impressive in our response to this (No-)Bike Night summons! But it's OK, even if it's just Andre555, newcomer DipStick and me, we'll have a quorum (and can vote to exact heavy fines on all other members).

C'mon riders, it's raining for chrissakes. Come out and join us!

[TB-Racing]

C'mon riders, it's raining for chrissakes. Come out and join us!

sunny, warm and dry in Capital City..... traffic still sucks!!!!

[euphonius]

Repeat announcement! (With apologies for short notice...)
Shanghai MCM (No-)Bike Night in honor of visiting MCMer Andre555
Date: Today, 24 May
Time: 7 p.m.
Place: Harbin Home Dongbei Dumpling House, behind Tianzifang
Address: 167号 Jianguo Middle Road, just east of Ruijin Er Lu
Transit: Dapuqiao station on Shanghai Metro Line 9, walk 2 blocks north on Ruijin Er Lu, then turn right into Jianguo Zhong Lu. It's on your right down some steps.
Note: Those who attended our (No-)Bike Night for Lulu should remember the place. Great dumplings and other Dongbei fare, cold beer, nice prices. And beer snobs like me can repair upstairs to Kaiba afterwards for a fine Belgian antidote to the Snow Beer.

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[MotoKai]

But boy, I am so p.o.'ed. My first ride in Shanghai on a bike that I have no experience on, and it has to be in the friggin rain!!! Darn, darn and darn again. This is begging for sh*t to happen.
Any tips?

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Euphonius: Looks like my event is cancelled which means I can join! See you there.

[zhu]

Ha ha nice
Andre i tried to send you the crate money but you closed that account. Please advise

[DipStick]

LOL! I think I would be caught dead in one of those! There's also the "drive with one hand and hold the umbrella in the other" kind.

[DipStick]

What a day! Not sure where to start... A week of TIC.

So, as some of you know, this is the day I was supposed to go pick-up my plated bike. Fixer doing all the paperwork for me, I just need to show up at the end.

Actually, no. Tuesday was the day I was originally supposed to go pick-up the bike, but there was a stupid issue. My Chinese ID (which has my English and Chinese name) has a number which does not fit the format of regular Chinese IDs for some reason. (The dealer had the same issue so he put my passport number on the ownership certificate/invoice, whatever that document is, along with my Chinese and English name). When came the time to process my licence application, guess what? Same thing. But he can't use my passport instead because surprise, surprise, my Canadian passport does not have my Chinese name on it.

But wait, the computer system might possibly be over-ridden by his supervisor. Hurray, Deliverance! Where is the supervisor? Not here today. But can do it tomorrow Wednesday, no problem. Yes problem, Wednesday I have to work late and I can't get away from the office. Oh, Thursday, then. OK. We'll tell the dealership (who is on standby to deliver the bike to the Vehicle Bureau) to stand down until Thursday.

Right. Come Thursday. Oh, Euphonius is getting people together. Great, I have a chance to meet some of the MCM folks. But wait, I need to pick-up the bike, end of day would be best. It's raining. I don't want to take my first Shanghai ride in the rain to get home from the Vehicle Bureau, even if it is 1.7km away. Newbie is scared (for the bike). Guru euphoniously offers to come along for moral support. Is he great or what? But I don't have a set pick-up time yet. Well, we'll play it by ear.

Thursday morning, I hear news that we will not need the supervisor trying to figure out whether he can over-ride the computer system or not. The fixer has decided to contact the dealership and go there the same day to pick up a modified invoice. Not sure what they changed, but hey, he's showing initiative. What, not sure he can get everything done in time today? I'm pondering what I could do from where I'm sitting to provide an incentive... I know! TIC, so I promise the fixer an extra 10% on top of his fee if he can sort things out today.

Thursday early afternoon, I get the message that the bike will be ready for pick-up at 2pm. Goodness gracious! Ahead of schedule?? Wow, I should use monetary incentives more often. But this DipStick can't get out of the office that early. Earliest pick-up I can manage is 4pm, giving me barely enough time if I leave work at 3pm to get back home to the burbs (taxi in the rain), change clothes and put on gear (ATGATT), grab another taxi (in the rain again). Boss is understanding, off I go. Come 4pm, I'm still at home trying to get out and deciding to take off and stow my rain gear in a backpack (it had stopped raining a bit). With luck catching a cab, I can make it to the vehicle bureau at 4:15. Not bad, considering.

Phone rings. You guessed it, new last minute problem.

This time, it turns out my insurance policy has a typo in the model number. 250-N instead of 250-J or some other inane excuse like that. Whose fault? the PICC rep.

Back and forth over the phone through a third party, my other helper, the logistics lady at the office. What an angel. She's doing all this in the middle of organizing the relocation of our offices to a new building. (We're moving tomorrow Friday). Bottom line: the PICC is on his way as fast as he can with a corrected re-print of the insurance policy. Trying to beat the clock. Shanghai traffic between 4 and 5pm... Vehicle Bureau closes at 5pm. He says he can make it.

We need a back-up plan if he doesn't make it. I can still pick-up my bike, but with no plates. But how the heck am I going to get it home? You're not far, drive it. Great plan. First ride in China, in Shanghai, new bike, wet pavement, rush hour. And no plates. No way. I don't care if I live 200 meters away, I am not doing it. Call me crazy, but I have a great skill at reading a little something called THE WRITING ON THE WALL.

Fine, what other options? Oh, the fixer has a set of extra plates that he was returning to the vehicle bureau to be canceled but that process is still not complete. Seriously? Yeah, yeah, just put on these plates (legally someone else's) for the short ride home and then we'll take them off. Against my better judgement, I agree to this crazy back-up plan. Beats walking the bike for 45 minutes.

What's the back-up to this crazy back-up plan? Err, not sure, hire a truck to carry the bike? OK, I can do that. How about the Yamaha dealership's truck? Are they still available today? Yes, but it would take too long to get here, they're in centretown. OK.

Any other back-ups? No? Fine, let's try it.

I make it to the vehicle bureau by 4:35pm. Oh here's Mr Wu, the fixer who has not fixed so much up to now. Seems like a nice young fellow. Where my bike? Oh there it is, poor little thing, looking all forlorn, like a wet dog, there all alone. What, your other little bike friends have all gone away and your the last one left here? Don't worry, Daddy will get you home somehow. You're so cute.

Maybe I don't need that beer at the no-bike night after all, I am already acting drunk from a mixture of excitement, exasperation, and a dash of WTF, TIC, merde alors.

Back to reality.

Waiting, waiting... Tic toc, tic toc.

4:50 pm, call to Mr Xu from PICC. Just got off the gao jia, he's almost here.

5:00 pm, still not here.

5:10 pm, he arrives, all apologetic. Did the best he could. (Maybe the best would have been not to make that typo in the first place).

What now? Obviously no plates today (Euphonius, you win your bet, I owe you a drink). Oh wait, that's right, we have a plan B! Mr Wu, would you please install the temporary plates you talked about? Sure thing!

Err, err, sorry, I thought I had them in my car, but I think I left them at the office downtown.

#$^&*$(*&@!~$ !!! But inside voice of course, I am Canadian after all.

Can you please try and get us a truck? He gets on the phone, comes back several minutes later: OK, the Yamaha delivery van is on its way.

WTF? I thought that one was going to take way too long to get here. Answer: well, at this point, trying to get another truck would take just as long.
OK, when will they get here. Answer: they say they can make it by 6pm.

Déja vu.

The fixer offers to drive me back home while the PICC rep waits for the Yamaha van. He will bring them to my house. I say no way. I'm here, and i'm staying here until this bike gets home. Sh*t, it's starting to rain again.

Fixer now has the new insurance policy, says he will come back tomorrow to complete the process, then deliver all the paperwork, ID and plates to my office. Fine. He leaves.

Mr Xu and I wait. The rain stops after a while, and I decide to ride around in circles now that the vehicle bureau parking lot is deserted. Nobody's kicking us out yet.

Uh oh, tank is almost empty. WTF? I saw them pour in 2 bottles of gas at the dealership when we turned the engine on when I paid for the bike last week. The odometer still says 5km. Nobody has been riding it. They must have siphoned it back! Now that's cheap.

Now I gotta figure out how to put gas in. Might as well take advantage of the delivery van when it gets here. Because if for some reason I still don't have any plates come the week-end, I would like to be able to drive around inside my compound, to familiarize myself with the bike.

Mr Xu says there is a gas station just around the corner, why don't I just drive ithe bike there and fill it up while we are waiting. No, I am not going anywhere on this bike unplated. I want to be 100% legal and when I first take this bike out on my own, I want it to be under circumstances that I have chosen, not be forced to do it. Fine, he doesn't get it, but stops insisting.

By the way, 6pm came and went, and still no Yamaha van.

Well, not too long ago this week, I was complaining that I rarely have the opportunity to practice my Chinese. Ask and Ye Shall Receive, I spent an hour answering all kinds of questions about Canada, ranging from the price of cigarettes to the winter weather. My teachers would be proud of me, I received only a few perplexed looks. I must have made some kind of sense.

I asked him how much the van transport will cost. He says 200 kuai, but he will cover it because it's his fault that we were not able to process the registration/plating today. OK, I'm pleasantly surprised, but it looks like there is some decency left in this world. Oh wait, he's out of cash, he says. Huh? Not to worry he says, he'll sort it out with Yamaha. OK.

We wait. Sending an SMS to Euphonius explaining that I will not make it to the drinks.

6:30 pm: Yamaha van shows up. Hallelujah, I would have yelled if I believed in that kind of stuff. The van driver is actually one of the mechanics from the dealership, he recognizes me. He start getting ready to load the bike up when we tell him about stopping at a gas station on the way to my place. There's one just around the corner, why don't you ride there, he says.

Déja vu.

He laughs at my explanation. Ta bu gan kai che, he says. Fine, believe what you want.

He says he will do it. I don't mind. As I explain to PICC rep, I have insurance. Besides, if Yamaha guy wrecks the bike, he can get me another one. But I would hate to have to go through all this again because of a different VIN number!

Yamaha guy litterally hops on the bike (he's so small, he reminds me of a horse jockey on my bike), and drives off nimbly. Boy, that guy looks like that's what he does all day long! Wait a minute...

Comes back 5 to 10 minutes later, gives me my receipt for the gas. Then on to loading the bike. He doesn't know the address but he will follow us in the PICC car.

We get to my compound and stop the vehicles. The grease monkey hops off the van laughing. It took us less than 5 minutes to get there. Ta bu gan kai che, he says again.

Ommmm.

"Laugh it up, fuzzball" I think to myself. (Some of you will get the reference).

Mandatory 10 minutes with the compound gate guards who come ooohing and awwwhing at the bike (where did they all come from? I only see one normally and now there's 4? Weird).

I wish I could say I rode off into the sunset after that, but I said my thank yous and goodbyes and rathered petered off in first gear towards my house. Put the bike in the half-garage thingy. There, there, Yammy, welcome home.

Tomorrow, we shall get you brand new plates.

Or maybe next week.

DipStick

[DipStick]

Some pics.

All alone at the vehicle bureau waiting for me. All the other bikes have gone home.

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Aah, Mr Wu the fixer:

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Yours truly. Pissed off with the last minute delays but still smiling. I have waited 25 years for my first bike, one more day won't make much of a difference. Ommmm.

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[DipStick]

Last one there...

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The dreaded Shanghai Vehicle Registration / Drivers Licence / multiple line-ups in multiple buildings Bureau on Hami Lu:

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Mr Xu from the PICC insurance company working the phone:

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The mandatory Chinese name for the registration pictures in case people can't tell it's a Yamaha. Here it says Jianshe, the Chinese JV with Yamaha in Chongqing where this bike was made. Euphonius, note the improvement: removable stickers as opposed to the stenciled spray-paint you had to endure. I was thinking that the sticker will come off as soon as I have my plates, but I am having second thoughts: this is my official proof that I now have a "China Bike" :-)

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