Had an accident

[jape]

Well it takes all sorts! Glad you are so well connected. You seem to be reasonably intelligent from your posts elsewhere here and your opinions are as valid as any one elses especially as you live there.
But it is China and you are a visitor and as you state, you don't really care if you have to leave the Fun Palace. Some want to stay there and fit in and learn the ropes.
One of other tools for getting through life is to find the smooth path, it comes from a balanced perception, and yours is an effort towards that but jumps from extreme to extreme so expends more energy.

Compassion Grasshopper, compassion is relationships is also the inner path of guanxi. All over the planet.

[wanglong]

If I had to label myself, I would say that I am anti-religious, however, I have to toss a great big Hallelujah to that! I feel like that is one reason why I am glad this forum is hear... So I vent in places that are appropriate and won't get me into trouble later ;0)

Compassion is interesting as well. I want to give compassion, and the fact that I do so often gets me criticism from my chinese girl friend. But to me, compassion is silent. Compassion is genuine. Compassion is doing something good to help someone. I desire to find a place in the world that will accept this view of it.

When someone demands something because they feel they are owed, that stinks of greedy. Myself if I talked to the family, they thanked me for bringing their daughter to the hospital when no one else would, ask to see if anyone riding the bike was hurt. At that point, I would feel comfortable discussing how well set up they were, and offering to cover any of the expenses. This I want. This I could live with. This would be utopia.

And only judging by the description under your name, it seems that you display a bit more wisdom that comes with age, that I have yet to acquire, but I am willing to listen to.

Reading this thread has given me inspiration to research the safety of having a long term life in China, which I flip flop on. I know some business leaders around, some of which are foreigners or at least foreign educated. I really want to set up meetings with them so I can figure out how to keep myself from being taken advantage of...

Thank you for the clarity.

[jape]

Blimey, understood for once! Apart from the fact that people always think it is religious but it has fuck all to do with any religon, creed, dogma or faith. If you watch the world long enough, it looks back at you and it is a great gaping abyss. There is some pattern discernable though - and some of the Chinese worked it out a loooong time ago with yin yang and chi and all that. At the same time most of our western ancestors were running around clubbing each other with sticks and later, sharpened steel. That is human nature, western or eastern, all the same. But we had thinkers and philosophers at that time as well as they did and they had also worked it out because really it is all around you and also within you, your nature.

In the end it is just your relationship with yourself, then those around you, as close or not as you let them, and then all the others. You draw the boundaries. Understanding that is more instinctive in a society such as the Chinese seems to be (to me from outside). My thinking is that the difference is probably something basic, to do with western nuclear family and eastern extended family but of course that would only be a small part and over-simplified.

'Being taken advantage' of is also western thinking. People do what is natural, except that socially and culturally, what is natural is different for us. It is behaviour and if not inherent, learnt so you respond at an instinctive reactive level. You know what is your position and your connections and that is where you stand. 'Face' is part of it. Those around you recognise that position instinctively and thus do or do not take advantage as you would see it. but there is also subtler responses within human nature. So after protecting the 'self' as you pointed out above, you are then able to offer compassion or understanding or bounty to others.

To do so heedlessly and from a weak position is foolish and seen as such. No westerner is seen as connected immediately and their behaviour supports this perception. Thus it is natural to take what you can from them because they often flaunt, or seem to flaunt both wealth and ignorance. There is no remorse in fleecing a sheep. And as an addendum, westerners on motorcycles are even more confusing. They should be in black Mercedes or Ferraris of course, if they have 'position'. To not do so would instinctively be confusing, even felt as insult or at least a disregard of natural rules.

To offer bounty however, from strength, shown by your understanding not your wealth, is the beginning of understanding guanxi as it also implies a reciprocal. And thus you cement your position and the ties of those around you. It is ultimately from your understanding and your manner that the balance is found. Even if the Chinese pick up western ideas and values they will change them to suit their own culture, else they would feel uncomfortable in their own homes.

That is part of what is happening now and I believe they actually show some restraint.

Imagine a black dude on an unlicensed bike that the police and locals cannot afford, all blinged up and flaunting even in his clothes and hairstyle and possessions a large amount of wealth. Imagine that guy as a black pimp with a young white girl wrapped around him, talking ghetto to the cops and bystanders in some red-neck town after running over a young woman - who is culturally quite low but still a breeding female and to some extent protected, especially from outsiders. As I said, it is attitude, what you project and that comes from what you understand. Many human interactions are instinctive even inter-culturally.

This is not aimed at anyone, just a ramble as usual.

[moilami]

Ass.


We all know that the law is pointless in China. A chinese state official stated this directly when foreign press pressed her about the reporter whose jaw was broken by police because he took pictures of a major shopping district on a recent sunday.


This is China, and here, you can't depend on society to take care of you just because you are doing what you are supposed to. You have to be like a fighter pilot if you are going to survive. Constantly on your guard, constantly looking out for what can possibly happen, and preparing contingencies for those possibilities. Here, you are responsible for yourself.

I hate camera man haters, and from everything I have read (from other places than MCM too) I think I hate very much Chinese Police. Very glad to live in Finland where we have this thing called "angry mobs".

Being a fighter pilot while riding a bike sounds good. Situational awareness! Don't let the bandit bounce ya! (and not blaming you of the accident, like someone said, could had happened to anyone. If a pedestrian choses to bounce you suddenly in the street it is very much like a sudden ambush.)

Talking about being a fighter pilot, life will be good soon ride on the ground and fly on the air with incoming IL-2 Cliffs of Dover



My Skyteam I already took the the roads this weekend!

[soberpete]

I hope this thing get's over and done with quickly for you, Slabo. I try to imagine myself in your shoes and I think I'd also have done the same. Learning from what I've read on this post though, it makes me want to do the opposite.

I wouldn't say that I'm religious but I do believe in Karma to a certain extent. Sometimes we do something that we shouldn't and karma catches up with us at a later date. Sometimes something terrible happens to you that you don't deserve but in the future something will make up for that. I hope things pick up for you in the future. Perhaps there is something more that can be salvaged from this situation but from the look and smell of Chinese law and attitude it seems that this thing is on the way to ending the way it is.

My first motorbike accident was on Halloween 2009. It was the first and only time I'd ever hit anything other than just the ground while riding. I'd been riding my bike for less than three months and I was still trying to follow their stupid road rules by riding in the bike lane. It was raining and the roads were covered with autumn leaves so that didn't help with my bikes already poor braking capability.
A woman drove her car out from a driveway right into the bike lane and stopped, blocking the whole bike lane, to give way to traffic on the main road. She'd come out of a driveway that was covered from my vision by a large, bridge-supporting pillar and I only saw her after she'd already taken up 75% of the bike lane.
I braked hard and landed on my right-hand side then slid into the side of her car doing about 30kph. Got a bruise on my hip and about 300rmb worth of parts to replace on the bike. The woman got out of the car, hand's shaking and looked as guilty as hell but didn't hesitate to call her goon squad of Chinese guys to come over and tell me I needed to pay her 1000rmb for the dent I'd made in her car. I gave them 400rmb which was all I had in my pocket at the time, gave her my phone number and told her I'd get the rest of the money for her later. Never called her back and just changed my number when I decided that these people were only after my money and no real justice.
To this day I still don't know whether or not the police would've helped me out with that situation had I been a bit more compos mentis (aware of the Chinese attitude toward this thing) back then but I think it would have been the best thing to do had I just picked the bike back up and ridden away smiling.
That little story has nothing on your current situation but it's just another example of what Chinese people are accustomed to.
The first thing I'll do if anything like this ever happens again is get my phone out and take at least a dozen photos. I hope it never gets this far but I also have friends who have family in high ranking police positions in Zibo who I would call at the soonest opportunity. If you don't do everything you can then other people will use that to their advantage. I can't afford to forget that this is 'China'.

[GJN]

Her fault, not that it matters. The more I read about what happened to you, the angrier I got. Good luck.

[jape]

Aye and I am getting angry at all the immature, self-centred, western arrogance I am seeing. It is bloody China you are in, not London or New Yoik! You are guests not fucking conquerors. Temper your anger with understanding or compassion or fuck off back home and play in your sandpit I reckon.

[GJN]

Aye and I am getting angry at all the immature, self-centred, western arrogance I am seeing. It is bloody China you are in, not London or New Yoik! You are guests not fucking conquerors.

Western Arrogance????? WTF are you talking about? If you believe arrogance is based off the application of legal rules and norms in a given context, then yes Jape, I am immature. I understand that when any foreigner is in ANY country they are a guest. That is not open to debate. However, if said foreigner was abiding by all established rules of the road and is still held legally accountable for another's mistake, bollux. We all understand this is China where more often than not these rules are not applied, but that does not mean we should be happy go lucky and prance around excited because yet again justice (or hard fact) was again ignored. jape, i seriously question your logic on this one. Go conquer Canada or something.

[Lao Jia Hou]

Go conquer Canada or something.

Whoa nelly! Keep us outta this! Our entire Canadian military is out of the country right now ... all 120 personnel!

Keep in mind, however, that we're all damn good ice hockey players - we're taught how to fist fight as soon as we strap on skates at age 3.

[jape]

As if the western law is so equal and great for all! Justice! Yay! The various constitutions. Yay!. Usually bollox. Fine as an ideal maybe. Try being poor and getting justice. It is what you can buy or what you can influence ALL OVER THE BLOODY WORLD (including Canada). And we have had a couple of hundred years of various systems of justice and legality to work on. Women were chattels not so long ago and couldn't vote. Now they can but still fight for equality. 'Blacks' were second class citizens recently, Now, the immigrants, the poor, the disabled, the less intelligent are still the 'blacks'. Not a perfect system for any of them. China has had what, twenty years? And they do not think or assume as you do anyway. Not their way. Be angry. Fine. Get real too. If it were just 'logic' we would all be wealthy and well-fed and loving and coffee-coloured.

You never jumped a fence? OooRa! You never drove drunk? Wahoo! You perfect? Marry me.