Poor poor poor Culcune

[Snortin Norton]

Hey fellas and gals ,
Poor poor poor Culcune is sooooooooooooo poor , I almost feel sorry for him . Alomost !
I have been hearing and watching his writings and grumblings and schemes about getting a new bike for a LONG LONG LONG LONG LONG time now . Way too damn long actually .
I am afraid in lue of more Prozack or Lithium or Thorizine to stabilize his awkward mind over his dilema of NO BIKE SYNDROME , I propose we start a bike fund raiser for the poor bastard immediately . I am good for $100 U.S.A money to start the fund okeedokeee . We need a trust worthy treasurer of course and someone to draw up a contract for him to sign that " VERY CLEARLY " states that he cannot whine if his bike breaks down again like he has whined so much in the past about his last damn bike ( probably just not the top notch mechanic we are is all that was about ) . That , and when his Porn Carrer in LA. Californification gets going ( AKA - News Photo Journalist Guy job someday, wedding picture-movie guy, whatever , etc , etc ) then he can pay us all back and of course and supply us all with a DVD copy of his film for free .

Seriously guys and gals, his attitude sucks worse than Draculas wife and I am really tired of his suffering and fear he may actually jump off a bridge soon too if we don't help him out here . It aint FREE money , it is just a nice jesture from me and us to get him up and runing finally. He's losing his freekin mind lately ( Lately my Ass ! , constantly is more like it ) over not being up and riding . He's really a great guy and great firend to me , and you all , and contributes allot of good things to allot of people in the world , ( although his no bike dribble is getting old ) , so I really feel we can pull this off .
I am just and independant Carpenter by trade, I make ok money and I can certainly make $100 available to the poor slob , I think he's actually worth it , and I am sooooooooooooo tired of him writing to me telling me of his new fangelled idea to wooooooo the distributors or dealers into giving him a bike .
He needs to ride and we need to help him .
It would only take 8 to 13 of me at $100 to get him up . God knows his wife says he can barely get it up as it is , so maybe we can get it up for him

Lets get this poor bastard a bike !!!!!!

Cheers, Snortin Norton over and out