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  1. #31 Re: China wives 
    MCM Chinese fellow td_ref's Avatar
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    Lightlend, any divorced woman with kids is almost next to impossible to get marry again in China, and she is with a mix-blood. It looks to me she is pushing you, she might just not thinking right, for her, divoce is lose cause.
    I have a feeling she is spoiled child, without consider her family wealth, i make no conclusion.

    Quote Originally Posted by kikikillercat View Post
    i would like to add a cultural note: In china if the girl has reached 30 and has not married it is considered 'Shameful'! they will quickly marry at any opportunity. Also, with Spring festival just passing now, unmarried girls push to have a boyfriend to take home for the holiday, or at least be able to say they have a boyfriend, because everyone will ask them "when are you getting married"?

    Another cultural note...If the girl is not married around Spring Festival time, her Friends will give her money, even her Boss at work will give the unmarried female money!!
    again....Shameful

    so there is a strong push not to be single
    True. The money is put in red envelope. It's also a custom.

    p.s. Silly me, I didn't read daughter (left to you) part closely. One attemp to solve problem is to contact parents-in-law. Probabaly need a translator. Unlike other cultures, Chinese parents influnce their child's decision in great deal.
    Last edited by td_ref; 03-11-2013 at 11:32 AM.
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  2. #32 Re: China wives 
    Danger, Will Robinson! Lao Jia Hou's Avatar
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    Twenty years with a Chinese sweety and never a single regret (well, that I remember - senility has its benefits). Probably works for us because if a nasty argument arises (very rare) she switches to a local Chinese dialect and I switch to French. Works wonders.

    Unlike my prior Western disaster (with age comes wisdom).

    I sympathize for your pain ... seriously, though, it is the daughter that must be the focus. Never lose sight of that innocent treasure. That is what it is all about. If there can't be two parents in the household, make sure the child's household is comfortable.

    BTW, it shouldn't be difficult for hostile parents to keep the fighting away from the kids - after all, the parents seem to put on a happy face at work. It means, though, that one has to sacrifice (and THAT is the definition of parenthood).

    My irrelevant two cents. I just like to type.
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  3. #33 Re: China wives 
    Senior C-Moto Guru ZMC888's Avatar
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    Jeeeees I am going china in a weeks time intending to marry,,,and now this crops up,,,I have been dating this lady three years,,,,I have all the paperwork done,,,,My gut feeling is I have a good un,,,is there any special test I can perform on her,,,before I say "I do",,,,,
    Just say, sorry honey, I really love you, but you know that i don't have much money, I can barely afford the wedding and a house and car are definitely off the cards. If she doesn't want you anymore then you'll have your answer.
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  4. #34 Re: China wives 
    C-Moto Senior
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    Quote Originally Posted by TexasAggie View Post
    Been married to my Chinese wife for 4 years. Together with her for 7. She is a gold standard and I am lucky she puts up with me. You can fail at marriage in any country. I know this from experience. My first wife (American) was a disaster. I was divorced for 16 years. I am very happy now and will readily suggest you to go with your own experience and heart. Judging all Chinese wives by one failed marriage is not a good way forward. There are many of us that have a great experience with a wife from a different culture. I also subscribe to the theory that one can always look in the mirror and see at least some responsibility and room for improvement. My 2 cents.
    .
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    Well said,

    I couldn't agree more - Gold standard. 24 karat pure gold.

    I just kick my self for all my wasted years married to the trollop of trash before.

    Now things are the way they are supposed to be.

    Gra.
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  5. #35 Re: China wives 
    C-Moto Senior
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    Thanks for you remarks guys,,,,,to be honest,,,I have no idea what I,ll do!!!!
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  6. #36 Re: China wives 
    motor maniac ShuBen's Avatar
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    ... one important remark. There is cultural difference in the way of communication that leads regular to confusion and may end up with angry words ... and then you find you both talk about different things.
    After we had figured that out , we now ask eachother whether we talk about the same thing.
    In this way you calm down the situation and the discussion might be over instantly.

    I am married to a Chinese lady since 9 years with all high and low. And i am happy to wake up beside her every day.
    SWM RS500R, R1200GS LC
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  7. #37 Re: China wives 
    C-Moto Senior kikikillercat's Avatar
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    I am married to a Chinese lady since 9 years with all high and low. And i am happy to wake up beside her every day.[/QUOTE]

    you guys who married several years ago have it better because your girls weren't spoiled like the ones today,,one child etc...moms do everything for their kids and they are all spoiled...dont know or want to cook or anything...they probably never cleaned the house when they were young.
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  8. #38 Re: China wives 
    motor maniac ShuBen's Avatar
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    kiki ... i know several women, who are industrious, hard working and clever. And I know Chinese women who raise a child alone, or even have a child without ever been married, but a modern family with attitudes. (Of course the parents haven't been happy at first, but have you ever seen a clear minded grandma's eyes when a little one sits on her arm :-) (seems to be nature....)

    @Lightend: Whats the status? Got the Ayi thing done?
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