Ludicrous appendages R us...

[forchetto]

Just been savouring the exquisite details on the new Suzuki Gladius. Notice the beefy 650 cc DOHC engine, the integrated wind-cheating colour-coordinated fairing with built-in winkers, the superb trellis frame, the curvaceous exhaust system, the fabulous aerodynamics of the whole ensemble...wait a minute, look at that ridiculous front mudguard, note how short it is, guaranteed to throw shit all over you...and now for the Pièce de résistance:

Suzuki's official accessory, a 30 litre rear trunk that sticks out of the bike like a puss-filled boil in the arse, and makes nonsense of the looks and aerodynamics. Notice how far up and behind the rear axle this is fitted:



Surely having all that weight (because make no mistake, people WILL overload it) so far up and back will play havoc with the centre of gravity and balance, never mind the looks. The weight on a bike should be carried within the wheelbase.

I have long believed that this sort of accessory could be responsible for a fair few accidents where the rider has lost control during an evasive manouvre or on wide open highway bends in blustery windy conditions. It can't do the handling any good.

To make things even worse and more dangerous, Suzuki have yet another ace up their sleeve in the shape of a passenger backrest. This encourages the pillion passenger to place even more weight to the rear of the bike...Jesus... How long has it been accepted that the passenger has to place himself as close to the rider as possible and leaning forward?, not leaning back as if on an armchair in their lounge room.

I once took somebody weighing 90 kg on the back of my XV1100 Yamaha, he of course leant back on the standard "Easy rider" style backrest or sissy bar, (now removed!), and the inestability of the whole plot when manouvering through the city made sure I never repeated the experience. To make matters worse the Virago's pillion seat is quite a bit higher than the riders...This makes a mess of the centre of gravity.

Not that long ago I witnessed one of our spotty, back-to-front baseball-capped, mouth-breathing youths, you know the ones with enormous baggy trousers, delivering pizzas on a moped fitted with a gigantic rear box, executing a manouvre around a parked car and losing the plot completely as the lightweight bike wobbled and fell. The empty-headed twat proceeded to pick up his pizzas, now spread all over the pavement, piece together the ingredients, now complete with grit and dog doings, etc, and re-assembling the Italian delicacies, put them back in their boxes and going on his way to his eager and presumably hungry customers, treating us by-standers to a magnificent display of wheelies...I seem to remember that his nose was running quite a lot and some of this was dripping on to the pizzas. The customers probably thought that they got extra mozzarella free of charge...



Things are even worse when these abortions are nailed to the back of lightweigh scooters like this Chinese Keeway 50. Imagine the effect of 10 or 15 kg that far back on a bike weighing just over 80 kg...to emphasize the silliness, Keeway also colour coordinated it, and fitted yet another backrest...I truly believe that banning these things will make a significant contribution to road safety. What do others think?.



More sillines: Just look at this trunk and associated ironmongery on a lightweight VESPA scooter....:



Here Honda shows us the only acceptable (IMHO) way to carry luggage, fully integrated panniers, low down, close to the bike with no unsightly gaps, and well within the bikes wheelbase. Notice also the beautifull and enveloping fairing with integrated glove compartments the reasonable size, yet smart, front mudguard, and the adjustable windscreen, as not every rider is the same height. This is on a Honda Deauville: