First the route:



The direct way from xi’an to suzhou is about 1300km, but the way I wanted to go takes the exquisite G210 going south out xi’an and bumps the distance up to almost 1900km.

Then there’s the time frame, I had 3 days to make it to Suzhou for a dear friend’s wedding that I could not miss.

And just to make things interesting, I decided I’d attempt to do the trip on my 110cc mini-motox bike.



After substantial modifications to the bike it actually looks a lot like my brand new Qingqi QM250 which I took delivery of last week!



Now let me explain why this ride report will be shit: I did not take one picture during the whole trip. Not one. There.

Day 1

Due to a baijiu related lobotomy of the wake-up cortex, I did not pay any attention to my alarm at 6 and instead woke up at 9. After checking out of my hostel, eating and installing the tail box on my bike which was on the other side of town, I was on the road by 12. Good start.

Luckily, 20 mins riding out xi’an and you’re straight in the mountains. The G210 is a real keeper too; 300km of this, on smooth tarmac.



Some corners even have tire walls on the sides, I swear they actually want people to race on this road! What a treat.

I still managed 430km that day and never left the mountains. Best day of riding I had done in a long time!


Day 2

Can’t really remember what happened that day, I just know I woke up in Hubei and went to bed in Henan.

Actually I do remember the pure bliss towards the end of a hard day’s riding, following my shadow as far east as it would take me before disappearing. The sun in my back lit up the Henan countryside in the most beautiful colours I’ve ever seen in china, the kind of colours that only a photographer, poet or heavy dose of LSD could describe the way I saw them…

Of course I also understood that the price to pay for all this beauty was that every car and truck coming towards me was completely blinded.

Day 3

This was the hard one. 850km left to get to Suzhou and I still had to cross the dreaded province of Anhui. I was on the road from 5.30am to 8.30 that night, stopping only for a few smoke breaks, a quick lunch and a couple of rounds of angry birds. This was the flat part of the journey. Here are some things you can do on boring roads:

- Practice your karaoke skills in your helmet

- Think of a name for your new bike. Mine is called now Molly. It’s short for Queen Molly, which is long for QM250.

- Count how many vehicles overtake you. 2 on the whole trip. Applying my irrefutable logic to this fact, I deduce that I am the third fastest thing in china.

- Think of ways to make a ride report interesting with no pictures

That morning I managed to maintain an average speed of 72kph and was expecting to arrive in Suzhou on time for afternoon tea, but then Anhui hit me and Molly like a ton of torn up concrete roads and immediately my average stats dropped to 0. For those who don’t know, this is what a good road looks like in Anhui:



I spent the next eternity getting pelted in the face by sand trucks. What is all this sand for anyway? Why are they always moving it, and doesn’t everywhere have enough sand already?

“Are you having fun?” I asked, jumping from pothole to oil spill. Molly just shook her head.

Eventually we made it through, I just needed to cross the mighty Yangtze and a short 300km stint across Jiangsu would see me home. The bridge I had planned to cross turned out to be an expressway, so I set out to find a ferry. I did find one, only to learn the next crossing was in one hour. Pressed for time, I decided to look for a way onto the bridge and if I couldn’t find one I’d come back for the ferry in an hour. After 50 minutes I found a slip road onto the bridge.

Having wasted enough time for one day, I zipped back to Suzhou on familiar roads, the feeling of home slowly creeping in. I know this is always a dangerous part of the trip, you think you’re home and you let your guard down. I made sure not to, and arrived into town just on time for dinner and a magnificent wedding in the morning!



I know ChinaV and the big boys are out there throwing out 1000km days, but 1870km in two and a half days is my personal record and you guys can all suck my euphemism.

Cheers!