China wives

SabineHartmann
http://www.mychinamoto.com/forums/im...er-offline.png lol yeah something like that. I do more than my fair share at the mo, so having someone pull their weight or more sounds good to me LOL.


bigdamo
http://www.mychinamoto.com/forums/im...er-offline.png the face thing is a barrier that keeps chinese people allot less happy than they could otherwise be.

i was speaking to a UK chap, he's mad about thailand and almost every other sentence is "go to thailand" "you wouldnt get that in Thailand" "in Thailand..." agh what is must be like to love everything about a country, I can only dream.
Mind you he may be a bit blind to the negatives there due to being in his first 13 months there.


Edit,
should also say I had a chat with her last night. She finished of the convo with "you go shanghai make lots of money, if not maybe never no make love, wan an"
I dont think she meant to put a double negative there. So I think she wants me to go to SH and make more money. I know she wants me to buy a house but buying a house i will only use maybe 1 week a year seems a bit of a waste of money (ESL jobs give me free accommodation) I have in the past offered to buy her a tent, but she has never found it to be funny. shame, I did.

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Originally Posted by lightend

...Mind you he may be a bit blind to the negatives there due to being in his first 13 months there.

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Maybe he's just into ladyboys. :jerkoff:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by lightend

... "you go shanghai make lots of money, if not maybe never no make love, wan an" ...

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Wow, if that was genuine (not in the middle of an argument), I'd be worried. There will never be enough money. I'd also suggest that a tent might be too generous - cardboard box under a bridge might be better.

Don't know if you've ever bumped into this article ...

Understanding Chinese Women

eup, ha, something I will never ask someone as if they said yes I would NEVER get it out of my mind.


Lao jia, she tends to be constantly angry (for at least a few months) short breaks in the anger but nothing sustaining. I recently told her I would be taking a pay cut as I wanted 2 days off a week. she wasnt happy at all. so im on 6 days a week for another 6 months.

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Originally Posted by lightend

[...]
I love my daughter and dont want to loose her, so it kinda just feels like my wife is just a necessary evil at the moment.

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My dad & my mom were at war for all my youth.

He waited for my younger brother to be 18 yo to divorce her.

Me & my bros we told him he could've done it much earlier, we wouldn't have minded, but he thought we needed 2 parents for proper "balance".

I think it's best for kids to have only 1 parent than 2 who are constantly fighting & screaming, for proper balance.

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Originally Posted by lightend

[...] She finished of the convo with "you go shanghai make lots of money, if not maybe never no make love, wan an"[...]

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My humble opinion is that u're trying to solve problems she's creating without any 2nd thought.

Good women will love men trying to solve pbs, bad women will abuse them men.

U can submit totally, or u can go, but don't fight and let her destroy u for 15 years like my dad.

Very sorry.

Look at the bright side, u're very young and u'll find someone u deserve and who deserves u in no time cos u're a good man.

Bad men wouldn't be any worried by this and would just slap her till she loves you or go find what she refuses you anywhere else, like plenty men do without having ur pbs anyways.

Peace.

Guess it doesn't really matter if the girl is Chinese or comes from some other country. I'm married to a Russian girl and I have a daughter as well (she's 5 y.o. btw) and the situation is utterly similar.
No sex - check.
No job - check (and, before you ask, my daughter does go to the kindergarten and stays there Mon - Fri 08:00 - 16:00).
Wasted money - check.
Phone/iPad/PC all day - check.
I'm 28 y.o., my wife is 29.
OK, point is: I can relate to what you've posted up here and I know the reason why it happens. Unfortunately I can't offer any solution because if I could, I wouldn't be experiencing the same situation myself.
The reason goes as follows: as my Mom once said, girls may see baby birth from 2 different perspectives. One is "it's just a beginning", which means that there's lots of learning and development to be done in the nearest future.
Another is: "I did all I was designed for". Those girls perceive baby birth as an apex of their lives. The ultimate point. "Mission completed" sort of stuff. And that's when they stop caring about anything - it's just their constant martyrdom of being a Mom (and, as experience shows, a shitty Mom at that).
Things that won't work:
1. Gifts, talk, good attitude, taking her out. I tried all of those - nothing happened. Casual sex doesn't count, I guess we're in for more of relationship building here, right? Well, it didn't work out as I'd plan it or as the movies show it. Reunion? Open-heartedness? Intimate talk? Trust? Nothing. Until now I know not what my wife is interested in and if she's interested in anything at all. Sure, she rides a bike. But monkeys have that ability as well, which doesn't make them sexually attractive or particularly smart.
2. Talk. Talk won't work. And it's not a language problem. Neither is it a cultural problem. The problem is the woman's GTFOofmyface attitude which doesn't really work toward understanding. Simply put - she won't understand you because she sees no need in that info you're trying to communicate to her. She might not even get it that you ARE saying something.
3. Baby care. I mean, being a good Dad and all. Taking a kid out. Playing with her. That surely is great for a Father-Daughter relationship and I do as much of that as I can, still it somehow doesn't make you be desired by your woman. No idea why - it's just as it is.
4. Housework. They say women get off at guys who do housework - bullshit. They take it for granted. Don't even try - you'll wind up with the whole lot of house stuff on you without any gratitude from your wife.

My advice: run. As soon as possible and as far as possible. Forget it all as you would a nightmare. Your kid is young, she won't even know. Should you be gnawed by Father's Remorse or whatever it's called, you can do all the explanation later. Much later.
Why I didn't run away: I was like you. I asked the same question. If the relationship could be fixed. Enhanced. Changed somehow. I was indeed looking for the answer. Like a way or method. I even googled it. And then my daughter grew up. Quickly and suddenly. And now I have a young lady at home who will be heartbroken as hell if Daddy left. And it's her, not my wife, that's keeping me there.
You want to leave - leave now. Another year and it will be too late. You'll hate yourself for not having quit earlier. And for many other reasons.

Come boys, the pain and suffering you cause yourself is for your kids. True Dads, not just fathers, who stick it out with the B.F.H. so that their offspring can have a father in their life, and to be honest your children need you, whatever their age.

True. That's what I figured out - if it's not me standing for the kid, then it's nobody else but a woman who's unable to find a job. Besides, I see it as my duty to make sure my daughter grows up different from her Mom.

Anyone that puts their children before their own happiness. Damn, that's the kind of guy I want to share this forum with. No bullshit. Kudos. :clap:

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Originally Posted by euphonius

Maybe he's just into ladyboys. :jerkoff:

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ok I must chime in here! Im a shrink by trade...means i trade my trade for money..he he...anyway....
the thailand thing is true in many ways as with Vietnam..but i like china! I know chinese men who work in north vietnam and have vietnam women as girlfriends..they say they dont make the financial demands as the chinese girls, also they work and dont demand the guys to work.

the shink information: men want women to be with them and do things with them. women want men to do things for them, (what can you do for me)?

now this drives us guys crazy! In china especially today with china emerging...its all about money. when she tells you to go to shanghai and make money ( a place where 'big' money is being made) she is saying your not making enough and I want you to be my ATM machine!

I know this culture is one where they have children as a 'retirement plan' for their future. They even have a word for it. I know a chinese mother told me in English "I want an Atm for the future" the reason for having her child.

marriage in china is like a business deal!

I've dated a lot hoping to meet one to marry...it has not happened in the past two years. whereas, girls are quick to marry with little knowing of the person. Many foreigners marry quickly as well, usually for visa or they have little money or..basically because it makes life in a foreign country a hell of a lot easier.

When a man is dating you have all the power, which you quickly relent when you get married. there are happy marriages in china with foreigners,,,so there is hope.

The SEX thing from a shrink's point of view: sex is like an appetite and hopefully you both have the same degree of appetite for it. If one has more than the other by a large degree forget it! Ive had couples that fought like cats and dogs but had an equal sexual appetite.

YES, women know men like sex so the use it as a tool, many chinese think sex is dirty and their period revolting. many believe its only for making baby. But not all girls, girls under 30 seem to be quick to have sex and they watch a lot on the internet and think that is what it is suppose to be like, or that is what guys want it to be like. I have college girls tell me that many girls go out with different guys almost night.

you are smart to have a foreign passport for your child because you can leave the country and she couldnt do anything.
i know chinese women who easily give up their child, even a son.

I had a patient who's wife spent every dollar of the value of two houses buying stuff. Unfor. as you said the money she spends at the holidays is what you are there for. The info. you provided regarding her comments, leaves little room for romance or should I say love!
she is basically saying go away send money.

overall, for your child...the child can always sense the unrest between the parents. better the child is not exposed to this and there is no way to hide it from a child who is like a 'sponge' soaking up his environment.

good luck...don't buy stuff....and she 'is' hiding money..maybe her mother is doing it for her.:eek2: