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It's amazing what a polite but persistent and forceful attitude can get you.. Took around 3 hrs of non-stop argument, asking to speak to a higher authority, being told to come back again another day, wait for a phone call, the whole works, but I stuck at it and eventually was left sitting waiting for a good 45 minutes while back-room consultations took place, then taken up to the private upstairs offices so I could chill while continuing to wait.. A few minutes later the door popped open again and I was told to go straight back down to the initial counter, where I was asked to write and sign a stat dec validating my Aus licence. After this it rolled like clockwork, going from one desk to another to pay for the test, get receipts, switch them for other receipts, sit the test (which I was well prepared for from using the 'Drive in China' app, although there are differences between the two which you need to watch out for), and before long I was walking out the door with my fresh warm licence.

Learnt a bit from the whole process- never say never for one, but also that the licence process, at least in Kunming, should be a cakewalk, an hour's work, as long as you have a full motorbike licence from your own country. As I have a provisional, non-motorbike licence, which expires in a few months, things were more complicated. Worked out just fine though