The rewarding us with punishment tour

[jape]

It just so happens that I am free to take up the position as 'satellite office manager' for you at present Mr. Euphonius. I have an unsavoury past, speak no Chinese; I like younger women, whiskey and cigars. I collect sharp objects, ride an unregistered R/T 'bike, wear leather, steel-capped boots and hoodies all the time. My resume can be found by inquiring at any Federal Police Office. To take this further please send a money order to my bank account (details furnished separately) and allow a small amount of time for me to find/provide a suitable passport in a nationality best suited to the requirements. I should be ideal eh?