Don't worry so much about the side covers. I will probably put women's leather panties over the openings

I think you should take your tequila to your AA meeting, and see who has the fortitude to avoid it, as you have done. Better yet, take a bottle of champagne, shake it up, and threaten to spray the entire meeting down it they don't meet your demands of naked women and cold, hard, cash!

I think the next thing that gets sent with your next package will be cigarettes--seems to be a safer thing with you, although you are quitting those, too. However, you can share them with your friends and AA meeting buddies without being greedy and seemingly holding out. I have a feeling that no one gets to share your coffee with you, besides Carl.